My first story: Mom's Fight

Please understand this may not be entirely, technically accurate, but it is from my honest point of view as a daughter who watched her mom struggle with cancer. 

Lauris 'Mitzie' LaJuan Akins Gremillion was born November 17, 1950.  My parents married in May of 1975 (I forget the actual date, sorry Dad) and had me (July 1980), my brother Mark (September 1981) and my sister Sarah (March 1983).  Since becoming a parent myself I realize how crazy my parents were to have three children in 3 years time!  The thought of three children in diapers at once makes me dizzy, but we all grew up really close and always had our brother or sister as our closest playmates.  That's pretty awesome!

In November of 1996 mom had a gallbladder attack that sent her into the hospital for emergency surgery.  She was supposed to only be in the hospital for one night, but while she was in the operating room we were all confronted with an opponent no one ever saw coming.  Dad only told me to pick up Mark and Sarah at school and head downtown.  From deep inside of me I knew something was wrong.  I sat in the parking lot at the high school and watched the end of Mark's band practice. Suddenly I burst into tears.  At that moment on the back of my car, is when God showed up and stood next to me. I didn't know why, but I felt I was going to need him soon.

We drove down to the hospital and eventually got the news that several tumors had been found.  Even though more tests had to be performed, the doctors were pretty certain it was cancer.  My dad had to give the okay for a complete hysterectomy.  My mom went to sleep thinking she'd wake up in recovery missing a gallbladder, but instead she woke up in ICU with a complete hysterecomy, no gallbladder and Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer.  Cancer sucks! 

We kept our heads up for so long and mom did too.  There were so many surgeries and chemo was horrible.  There were so many difficult days that shook us all to the core - emotionally and physically.  It was especially hard for mom because I think she felt so alone in everything.  Alone and guilty, but no one who really mattered ever would have blamed her.  We just enjoyed every minute we could and cried every minute that we couldn't. All we could do was walk through it by her side and pray, pray, pray. 

She actually went into remission for a while.  I think it was a year and a half and it was probably one of the clearest years I remember in all of this.  I had grown up and gone off to college out of state, but I can remember how grateful I felt for EVERY SINGLE moment I had with my mom.  That one cancer-free Christmas I can remember sitting in church and holding her hand.  Silently, I thanked God that I still had her hand to hold that day.  It was all I could have asked for at that time.

I returned to school in August amongst a lot of fear and sadness.  I can remember that day I arrived at school as one of the saddest days of my life. Again, I felt God walk in and stand by me.  Mom's oncologist had found a mass in her abdomen and it didn't look good.  A biopsy was performed and by the end of that first hellish week of school the news came in.  The cancer had come back.  The mass was inoperable.  There was nothing the doctors could do to save her life.  Mom had 3-6 months to live.  I hit my knees. 

Mom only lived about 3 or 4 more weeks.  She was so tired and so over it.  "Screw you cancer! God has a blessing for me in heaven!"  I'm not sure why, but I never remember the exact date that she died.  I know it was in September.  Maybe it's because I believe Mom would be a little disappointed that I would choose to remember her by the date she died.  I prefer her birthday - that's a much more fun date anyways - a reason to celebrate her life.  To celebrate her life and spirit is also my motivation behind this blog and my reason to fundraise.  I am determined to turn her life into a legacy of comfort, support and encouragement for other people in the fight for their lives (and their families too!).

Ovarian cancer is extremely difficult to detect.  It's most common symptoms are indigestion, constipation, bloating, and weight gain - and what woman doesn't feel that way at least once a month.  There is also a limited form of testing available to detect cancerous cells or a growth.  At best, they are just guesses.  Unless you have a family history with ovarian cancer it is highly unlikely that a yearly pelvic exam would tell you if you have ovarian cancer.

Family history is extremely important for all forms of cancer, but especially for ovarian cancer.  Several months after my mom passed away, my grandmother, my mom's mother also died of ovarian cancer.  Obviously my sister and I have a few warning signs and take extra precautions.  My mom and grandmother's lives could have been saved had they known a little more about their family history, too.  Granted family medical history is not something commonly talked about when my mom and grandmother were growing up, so even those facts are a hazy - but the point is to take the time to know something about your family.  Knowledge is power and catching any form of cancer early can mean light years in the way of recovery!

If you have a family history, or if you want to be extra diligent in the fight against ovarian cancer, talk with your gynecologist.  Request a CA125 blood test and a transvaginal ultrasound.  The ultrasound is the best form of detection and really only lasts about 20 minutes.  Would you take 20 minutes if you knew it would/could save your life?  I do, every single year!

Check out the links below to find out more information on ovarian cancer and the fight against it. 

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/ovarian/

http://www.medicinenet.com/ovarian_cancer/article.htm

http://www.ovariancancer.org/

http://www.ovarian.org/

http://www.ocrf.org/

If you have a link or any information regarding the fight agains ovarian cancer please let me know so I can add it to the blog.

Step up and fight!